im still the unlovable crazygirl i was a month ago. Thanks for persuing the thought- now im more lonely then before.

has inspired me to tumble my witty little self sick again. thankyou skye.

LOOKBOOK.nu: funeral

LOOKBOOK.nu: boots bunting and a bowler hat.

how pathetic that i even thought it might be an option. 

How I yearn for it to say in a relationship. Lol. Too bad I hate all males

i was very upset today… i decided to venture into my childhood. I found myself drawn to Currumbin Alley… I haven’t been there and explored since i was about 7. As i was driving there i tried to remember all the magical times i had… Before i had ever been hurt, when i was naive, when the highest place in the world was on my dads shoulders. I remembered There was a lookout in a mountain where you could see all the way to the other side of australia. The stairs to the lookout were so big and there were so many my dad had to carry me the last half. The beach was covered with beautiful shells and elephant rock was as large as a building. Hidden on the side of the rock there was a little cliff that was so perfect in every way. It was smooth in comparison to the otherwise jagged edges. I would sit there for hours and watch all the surfers and look at all the shells i collected.

When i got to the Alley however, what i remembered was no longer. I found the hidden stairs to the lookout expecting to be exausted after getting to the top. However, the stairs were perfect size and small enough to not be an effort. I reached the top in minutes barely raising my heart rate. I was amazed with the view that i saw. It was unbelievable how as a child i saw a million miles but as an adult i could only just see surfers skyline (but when cant you). After my dissapointing climb i went to visit my childhood cliff. I walked along a dingy beach which could barely be described as a lake… The shells were extremely shattered and and i couldnt find one beautiful one no matter how hard i looked. I finally came to elephant rock. It was small…. ironically about the size of an elephant. I moved around to the other side where my little cliff would be. I climbed up to it where i found it was not smooth at all, it was tiny and decorated with a smashed beer bottle. I then retreated.

I probably should be sad. But it actually gave me hope.. Perhaps the ‘beautiful’ things that i don’t have anymore and now miss were actually never that beautiful. Maybe i have made them a lot nicer in my head then what they were…Maybe I am just blinded by the clarity of hindsight. One day im going to find a truly beautiful beach which i love…

i sure am! are u

Ask me anything

I am not your black sheep…You are not my diamond in the rough.